ZOMBIES ARE INVADING THE LIBRARY

I’m typing to you from the safety of the space under my work desk. I’ve barricaded myself in my office in hopes of surviving through the night. I’ve discovered the hard way that ZOMBIES ARE REAL!! It all started this morning….

I arrived to work thinking it would be a day like any other. I should have known something was up when I changed our closed sign to open and no one was waiting at the door to get in. No one was waiting in the parking lot either, or on the street, or…anywhere, for that matter. Everything was quiet, eerily quiet.  I shrugged my shoulders and figured it was because of the weather. We had a cold spell hit overnight, 80 degree weather down to 44, and people were simply staying inside. I decided to start my day by shelving books, a task I despise because I can’t reach the tall shelves, but a task that needed to be done as all the carts were toppling over. While shelving, my ears perked to a noise that sounded a bit strange. I wasn’t sure how to describe it at first, almost a low gurgle, or the sound of a burp that got stuck in the chest. The second time I heard it, the noise sounded closer to a moan; someone trying to talk with peanut butter in their mouth.  The wind howled just then, causing me to assume that all the prior noises had come from the weather, and not from something inside the library. 

I’ve heard tales, of my library being haunted; books falling when no one was near; items being moved with no logical reason; people moving throughout the shelving when you are the only one in the building. I never really believed in ghosts or vampires or zombies or any of that stuff, they were all just things in stories…RIGHT?

So when those noises that I was hearing could be chalked up to something else, you can bet I assumed they were being made by perfectly harmless things. It wasn’t until the smells started floating through the library that I wondered if I had jumped to a premature conclusion.

I had just cleaned out the men’s bathroom, when the smell of rotting flesh met my nose. Now I have cleaned some smelly bathrooms but never like this. The strangest part was that the smell wasn’t coming from the bathroom, but from the non-fiction area. Febreze in hand, I went investigating. (In hindsight, I should have taken more than just Febreze…like pepper-spray… or a bat… or really… a shotgun.)

My nose took me twisting to and fro among the selves. I was about to give up when I rounded the corner and found…. A ZOMBIE!

I sprayed the Febreze (my only line of defense) and took off running. I rounded the corner at top speed, and hurtled over reading chairs. I dashed for the library phone to call the cops--no the National Guard--someone, anyone to come and save me.

I climbed a stack of boxes so I could get a better vantage point to see where the zombie was lurking. The hairs on the back of my neck started to prickle. I slowly turned my head fearing the worst. And of course my worst was confirmed. The ZOMBIE WAS RIGHT BESIDE ME!!!

  No Animals were harmed in the creation of this blog…YET!

I flew off the boxes faster than a jet plane. I’m 100% sure I broke the sound barrier! I scrambled to my office and locked the door. I shoved all my book shelves, and storytime puppets and everything else in my office up against my door, leaving only the little window at the top uncovered so I could peek out and keep tabs on the zombie.

I’ve been under my desk now for 3 hours, 17 minutes and 45, 46, 47, 48 seconds. I’ve got a few days worth of supplies to keep me going. I’ve called the Pentagon to alert them to what is happening. I’m not sure when rescue will get to me. I’m hoping they will reach me before the zombie can figure out how to squeeze through the 12inch by 12inch window on the door.

I just peeked out and took a picture of what I saw…

Let’s hope that the books will tide the creature over.

·       No Animals were harmed in the creation of this blog…YET!

Posts From The Paw

Unplug From Technology

Hey all!

I’m unplugging from technology this summer! No txting no Facebook no blogging NO NOTHING!

I know you all will miss reading my fantastic blogs but have no fear I have a solution to that.

My best friend in the whole wide world Brutus is starting his own blog this summer! He saw how much fun I’ve had with mine and wanted to start his own.

This summer he’s trying out new jobs each week and his blogs will document what goes on.

I told him you all would read it for him, and I hope you actually do. Here’s where you can find his blog Howls From the Hound.

Well it’s time to unplug. TTFN (ta ta for now)

Posts From the Paw

Posts From the Paw

This Week's Special: Baked Bunnies, Scrambled Eggs and Kitty Kabobs

Welcome Guest to the 3^rd annual All Ages Easter Egg Hunt, where empty eggs are hidden, carnivorous live rabbits nibble off chunks of your hair and a life-size Easter Bunny finds pleasure in terrifying poor wittle old me.

The library will be holding its annual Easter Egg Hunt Saturday March 31^st. Children of all ages can enjoy crafts and games, a petting zoo featuring live rabbits, and a meet and greet with the Easter Bunny. Events start at 1:00 with the egg hunt kicking off at 2:00.

Pages Invites all to come!

Yes, I’m inviting everyone! I figure if I have to suffer the insufferable smell of pooping rabbits, melted chocolate smeared on faces and an Easter Bunny who’s bent on taking one of my nine lives, YOU have to suffer with me, too.

I’m sure you’re wondering where I get my delightful descriptions of this event. Oh… you’re not wondering this…TOO BAD! I’m going to tell you anyway.

It happened last year, at my first egg hunt. The day started out like any other, however, it quickly changed when I saw Erin running around like her pants were on fire. My guess was that she had told a lie, as the saying goes, “Liar Liar Pants on FIRE”! Little did I know, that was not the case. Instead she was panicked because some giant rabbit had not shown up yet. I laughed at her; I have to admit she was pretty funny looking. I sauntered over to the check out desk with my baggy of teats to sit and watch the show. After about 5 minutes, the door dinged and in rolled a cart of some sort of stinky fur balls. Curious, I jumped down to investigate. Just as I stuck my nose through the grate on the cage to see what it was, the horrid creature bit me! I jumped back, only to be met with a cackle from Erin. I gave her a glare hoping her pants would reignite, as they must have temporarily cooled. The lady who accompanied these creatures informed me they were rabbits and baby ones at that. She pulled one out and showed it to me. I made sure to keep just out of biting distance.

I was so entranced with these over grown cotton balls I hadn’t noticed the covey of children who had gathered with me to scrutinize the rabbits. The next thing I know one of the children spun me around and planted a giant chocolate covered kiss smack dab in the middle of my forehead. If the smell of slobbery chocolate wasn’t enough to knock me unconscious, the death grip around my neck was sure to accomplish the deed. As the world was growing dark I felt the hands slip away and I was placed on the ground. It was just then, as my blurry sight was sliding back into place, that I saw the most horrid, grotesque, monsterrific creature I had ever laid my eyes on…. The EASTER BUNNY.

I turned and ran, not entirely sure where I was headed. My vision hadn’t fully recovered and I kept stumbling over my own feet. I tripped and rolled out into the middle of the room, with no cover, no nothing that I could hide under. The rabbit was right on me! I flipped over, hoping my playing opossum would make it go away. Hope was not in my favor. The Easter Bunny had me in its grasp. I thought for sure I was going to get eaten! A strange gargle rose out of its mouth. I had no idea what that noise meant. It did have a familiar ring to it. That’s when it hit me. The Easter Bunny was laughing at me. I took this moment to look it over and realized that it wasn’t a monster but an overgrown version of the rabbits I had just been looking at. I knew those were harmless so this one must be too. I relaxed into its soft fur. We took a few pictures and promised to see each other again next year.

Ok, so I guess last year wasn’t that bad. And I am looking forward to this Saturday to meet up with my old friend. I’d love to introduce you all to my friend the Easter Bunny. Maybe I’ll get a special egg filled with teats!! I’ll share with you all….Just Kidding, they are all mine!

Hoppy Easter!

Posts From the Paw

Cake, Costumes and Crazies Celebrate Dr. Seuss’s 108th Birthday

“My alphabet starts with the letter called yuzz. It’s the letter I used to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You’ll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond “Z” and start poking around!” Dr. Seuss

Well Dr. Seuss I took your advice, hopped a train and rolled the dice.

The train sped it went beyond z and OH I was amazed by the things I had seen. They had all came together the cats and the hats, the lazies and crazies, the bats and the mats. To celebrate the day, where we’d all gather to say, Hip hip horray today Dr. Seuss is your BIRTHDAY!

Dr. Seuss your stories are timeless just like you, so let’s take this day to celebrate you.  In your very own words “today you are you that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”

To one of the greatest guys I know, we wish you the very best as you turn 108! To celebrate we baked you a cake, blew up some balloons and partied away.  Here’s a picture we took just for you, to show how much we love you!

Thing 1 and Thing 2 showed up for the day, with Daisy Head Maysie and some fish on your cake. A wocket from your pocket and our boss in cat ears, topped off the group to throw up some cheers. The cake was delicious, and so not nutritious. But it all disappeared without any fear. I took this from you and now I’m giving it back You are cooler than cool and that is a fact. I think with that I will call this a wrap. From the look of my watch it’s time for a nap. As I settle in bed I know just what to do, grab a book for my dreams to take me to. “The more that you read the more things you will know. The more that you learn the more places you’ll go.”

Nighty Night Dr. Seuss...................... Happy Birthday!  

Posts From the Paw

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Dear Readers,

I appreciate you all reading my blog and keeping up with me as I document all of my adventures here at the library. I’m sorry if I’ve held you at baited breath waiting on my next installment on the sanity level of my co-workers. I’ve had much to do and lots on my mind this past month with the holiday season falling upon us and time simply slipped from my paws. With many apologies for the long delay, I’m back!

I’d like to say that the evidence that I’ve acquired would prove to a judge that all my co-workers should be fitted in a comfy straight jacket and sent to live in a nice lovely padded room. Sadly all of this isn’t the case. Due to a technicality (everyone goes crazy during the holiday season) all of my evidence has been thrown out. Don’t worry. These nuts are bound to keep attracting squirrels and eventually I’ll have all the evidence needed to check them all in to a padded hotel for an extra long vacation.

On a more serious note, I want to share with you all something that has been on my mind an awful lot lately.  It’s a touchy subject for me, so bear with it. I just need to talk this out so I don’t end up going crazy. Ok…here goes.

Some of you might know, before I came to live at the Library, I was homeless. That’s right, little old me had no place to call her own. I had no place to sleep, nothing to eat, and no one to call me their own. I was unloved, unwanted, and out on my own.

I don’t really remember my first few months of life, not that many people actually remember that time of their life. They remember the stories told about the things that they had done, the people and places that they had experienced. As for me? I had none of that. No mommy to cuddle me when there was a bad storm. No daddy to read me a story before I drifted off to sleep. It was just me.

I try to not think about that time of my life. I don’t hold many fond memories from then. Getting chased by dogs, soaked in the rain, and fried under the hot sun, aren’t exactly the types of memories that I want to share with all my friends. But I find myself here, telling you my story. I’m not really sure why…I just felt like telling it. I know it will never make a front page headline in the local paper or be a top story on the evening news, but if I can reach the heart of someone…anyone…then I’ll know my story was worth telling.

June 24^th 2010, was the best day of my life. It was sort of a new birthday for me. A chance to start new, a chance to become anyone I wanted… it was a chance for me to find a home. The day was beyond hot. I was exhausted, hungry and at my wits end. I’d been walking for days, just trying to find somewhere I felt safe. At least safe enough to take a quick cat nap. I finally found a place that looked like it would work. I found a shady little spot under a bush and curled up for a much needed nap. The next bit is sort of hazy. It was like one of those dreams where you’re wide awake. I remember being lifted out of my nap and carried inside of a building. Water and bit of food was placed in front of me. I absent mindedly ate it and found my eyes once again starting to droop. I was placed in a chair where I spent the next few hours napping. I awoke to a dark room. No one was around. I explored and discovered I was inside of a library. I was too tired to wonder how I had gotten here, and once again fell asleep. Over the next few days, I came to find out that I was welcome to stay. The people here would feed and water me, they would play games with me, and they would give me a place I could finally call home. There is no amount of hugs and kisses that I can give to tell them all how much I appreciate what they’ve done for me. They made my dream come true. I now have a family, people to love for the rest of my life.

My dream came true… Not many homeless animals are as lucky as me…many die without ever having a home…without knowing how magical a hug can be…without knowing what it is like to look into one of your people’s eyes and see just how much they love you…too many homeless never get to experience this…I’m one of the lucky ones.

I’d like to tell you to all go out and adopt a pet. To go out and find one who needs you…because chances are…that you need them too. But I know not everyone can, for whatever their reason may be. But you can still help. I’d like to give back…a sort of pay-it-forward. I’d like to give to those who have none, when I have so much. I don’t get an allowance. No money to buy things with. But that doesn’t stop my wanting to help. So if you could help me…maybe we can make other animals’ dreams come true. Some dream of homes…some dream of loved ones…but for many…they just dream of food and a safe place to lay their head. Our Local Animal League can give these animals just that. But unfortunately…their supplies are running low. I want to help! I want to help with all my heart! But I can’t.

Maybe you can help for me?!? It’s just a thought. A small thought at that. But maybe that small thought is the difference between a dream dying… and a dream coming true.

Just a thought...

Posts From the Paw

The Local Animal League is asking for Dog food, Cat food, and Cat litter donations. Donations can be brought to the Valley Center Library to be boxed up and taken to the League.

Donations will be made in Pages’s name and in the name of all animals that have been given a second chance.

Valley Center Public Library

321 W. First

Valley Center, KS 67147