Thursday, November 10, 2011

Warning! Crazies are Loose and at the Library

Caroline Gordon once said, “A well-composed book is a magic carpet on which we are wafted to a world that we cannot enter in any other way.”  In the year and a half that I have lived at the library, I have traveled to more destinations than I can even begin to count.  I journeyed back in time to become a knight in King Arthur’s court, I soared at light-speed to fight alongside the Millennium-Falcon, and I even had a duel with the famous Harry Potter. Not only have books taken me on amazing adventures, but the building itself has served as a teleportation device to whisk me away to one of the craziest loony bins in the world. And where is this loony bin? I’m glad you asked. This loony bin is none other than…. THE LIBRARY! Now, I’ve never had it confirmed but I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to be a librarian you must be CRAZY! I swear I work with some pretty crazy coo-coo birds.  Let us take a moment and look at the evidence that I have collected.
 Exhibit A- Kathy

Kathy is your typical “I have the best conversations with myself” type of person. Not a day goes by that I don’t find myself strutting up and down the aisles in search of a good book, than what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Kathy talking away with no one to hear.  This gal can carry on a conversation with herself for hours. And I’m not talking about just chatting; Kathy will get into verbal fights with herself. Now I’m sure she is more likely to be yelling at books that are miss-shelved but I like to think that she’s just crazy and fighting with her imaginary friend.

Exhibit B- Corbin

This guy is constantly being caught doing something CRAZY! Take for instance the other day. I was minding my own business, reading the new magazines that had come in, when all of a sudden a giant black mass went whizzing by my head. I flipped over away from whatever it might be. I heard a quiet “plunk” as the mass landed in my water dish. I slowly crept forward to investigate. I was right on it when I caught a whiff of the foulest odor that I had ever sniffed. The smell was warping my brain. Just seconds before I passed out Corbin reached down to pick it up. I came back from my blackout and saw that he was wearing only one sock. The nasty smell was radiating off of his other sock that he had catapulted into my water dish. Crazy here was trying to wash his socks in my water dish! How absurd of him! But don’t worry. I’ll get him back somehow.

Exhibit C- Erin

Yep, this is Erin! She’s my trusty right hand man… I mean woman. There’s never an adventure that she’s not ready for. But on the crazy scale… She takes the cake!!!! HAHA get it cake, HAHA spider cake! I just crack myself up sometimes!!!! Anyways... this gal is the epitome of crazy. She drips with craziness. If you look up crazy in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.  Erin dresses up in crazy outfits, long skirts and fluffy sleeves. I’m not sure if there isn’t a skirt she hasn’t tripped in or gotten me stuck in. She’s always talking in crazy voices. And the sad thing is… I understand her most of the time. She also has “her” toys.  Toys that I’m not allowed to play with. I just want to read stories with her stuffed dogs, but no, she flips out every time I get close to them. So I just sneak them away at night and leave them around the library. HEHEHE…this really messes with her OCD. I’m so evil. I’d have to say, even with all of this, I’m only scratching the surface to the Erin crazy train.

I’m still working on collecting evidence to prove the crazy level of everyone else. I’ll update you on my findings as I accumulate them. I’m just hoping that I’m not going to start having to wear a hazmat suit so I don’t catch the crazy. I hear it’s contagious.
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